Tuesday, February 7, 2017
Sunday, January 29, 2017
All Joy Reminds....
My
problem was my definition of Joy. I thought Joy meant feeling good all
the time. Have you met anyone who feels good all of the time? I don't think that was the plan
"Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have Joy"
(2 Ne. 2:25). The mysterious word there is "might', it has always stood out to me whenever anybody would recite this scripture. Even for those who are naturally upbeat
and optimistic, it's impossible that they live in a constant state of Joy. We live in a world with opposition. There must needs be opposition in all things.
" These two powers have ever existed
and always will exist in all the eternities that are yet to come.
Although in relation to this earth, some time in its future history
there will be no death, and him that hath the power of death will be
destroyed. It is written in the Book of Mormon, “For it must needs be,
that there is an opposition in all things. If not so, righteousness
could not be brought to pass, neither wickedness, neither holiness nor
misery, neither good nor bad.”
When man is born into the world he is at once subject to the
influences of life and death, and to the innumerable and varied
vicissitudes which he meets in his passage from birth to the grave, to
give him an experience which will prepare him to enter into and enjoy
life everlasting. He is endowed with agency to choose either life or
death, and must abide the consequences in the next life of the choice
which he makes in this. Were it not that evil exists with good, man
could not have been an agent unto himself. When the spirit of man
enters the earthly tabernacle, it is as pure as an angel of God. When
man, as a child, is brought forth to the light, and begins to live,
move, and have a visible and an individual being in this world, he is
brought in contact with the principle of evil—he receives the mark of
sin, and as passes the usual stages from infancy to manhood, he learns
to become disobedient to the requirements of heaven, disobedient to
the laws of man, and disobedient to the laws of his own nature; he
engenders the spirit of hatred, malice, wrath, strife, and all that
class of evils which render him unfit to return again to the presence
of his Father and God; but if he will obey the Gospel and walk in the
ways of the Lord, his mortal existence and his proneness to sin, which
he has inherited through the fall, become profitable and essentially
necessary to the full enjoyment of salvation and eternal life."1
We have to start somewhere realistic when seeking Joy in our lives.
Joy is a feeling of trust that God is in control of all the details of my life, the quiet assurance that everything is going to work out, and the determined choice to look to God in gratitude even when in the dark times of life
In scripture, when looking for a definition of Joy, You’ll find nothing in that definition about happy feelings, because, as we all know, happiness is fleeting and temporary.
We tend to think that life comes like a roller coaster up and down steep slopes. Sometimes topsy turvy and zooming round and round. In reality, it’s much more like train tracks. Every day of your life, we experience good, pleasant pleasurable, and lovely things. We don't always see them. At the exact same time, sorrow, disappointment, hurt can cause us pain. These two tracks — both Joy and disappointment — run parallel to each other every single second of your life.
That’s why, when you’re in the midst of an amazing experience, you have a nagging realization that it’s not perfect. And while you’re experiencing something awful, there’s this nagging feeling, that turns into hope, it's a realization that there is still something good to be found. They’re inseparable.
I was able to go to my follow up appointment with my doctor this week. We went over the results of the MRI. We concluded that we will wait and watch the 5 mm lesion I nick-named "Trouble" instead of doing an invasive biopsy. I felt a sense of calm come over me. I felt I had pursued the right coarse of action. He ordered me to have another mammogram and MRI in June to see if there is any growth or change. I will also continue to be vigilant in self checks to watch for changes, as I encourage all women to do.Although this has felt like a lot of opposition for me, I know I will look back and see where the tracks converged of good and bad experiences to teach me and motivate me toward something better in my life. It really is about perspective. I love my joy journey. I love sharing it with you. I want us all to get there.
There is always two tracks one of happy times and one of unpleasant times.If you look down these two tracks, you will discover they merge into one narrow way. One day you will look back on your life experience like it was almost a dream. It will present itself to you again only from a different perspective. I watched home movies recently with my children. I realized so much was happening around me in the movies that at the time I did not perceive. I was living in my own mind and perspective. I was blinded by my own interpretation of my experience. Now watching these movies brought a new perspective. I saw myself different than I had imagined I was at that time in my life. It left me kind of feeling disturbed. Like I live a lie about myself walking around blinded by my perception. Like I am not who I think I am. how upsetting and unsettling this was. yet it was very enlightening to me. A miracle really. I realize now I will someday look back and see two tracks converge, they will make sense. My whole experience in life will become more complete. I will see I needed the times of grief as much as I needed the times of Joy. I will see that moments of Joy and sorrow were really just guideposts to let me know I was on the right track or wrong track to get to my final destination. Joy is not the destination. It is the reminder, the guide if you will. A reminder where you came for, a longing to return there. C.S. Lewis explains it perfectly:
“It (JOY) was valuable only as a pointer to something other and outer. While that other was in doubt, the pointer naturally loomed large in my thoughts. When we are lost in the woods the sight of a signpost is a great matter. He who first sees it cries, “Look!” The whole party gathers round and stares. But when we have found the road and are passing signposts every few miles, we shall not stop and stare.” –C.S. Lewis
"The Savior came into this world, according to his own statement, to give us life more abundantly (John 10:10)—in other words, that we might have Joy, an abundance of Joy, a continuance of Joy. Thus it is essential that we follow the pathway which the Son of Man marked out for us if we are to receive that abundant life which is a fullness of Joy.
We must learn to love the Lord our God with all of our hearts, might, mind, and strength (Matt. 22:37-38). We must abide by that Golden Rule (Matt. 7:12) and learn to love our neighbors as ourselves (Matt. 22:39). In this way, and in this way only, shall we have a fullness of Joy. There is no other road.
The night before the Savior's crucifixion, he said to his Apostles, "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you" (John 14:27). It is the peace that comes through the Spirit of Jesus Christ; it is the light of Christ that enters into our hearts, that gives us a Joy—as the prophets have proclaimed—"... which passeth all understanding" (Philip. 4:7).
Also, in addition to the Spirit of Christ, we have received the Holy Ghost, a Comforter, to comfort us in time of distress. This Comforter brings a Godly peace into our hearts."2
“All Joy reminds. It is never a possession, always a desire for something longer ago or further away or still “about to be.” -C.S. Lewis
I now look at Joy different than before. I understand more fully what CS. Lewis was trying to say. Recently, since my study of Joy began, I started cherishing those fleeting moments of Joy, and the longing that it entails. I am now reminded by Joy I am on the right track, the signpost is clear. I know where I came from, and I know where I am going ( both topics for another post). What I don't know, just like everybody else, is when I am going.Life is fragile. We are like a flower... here today and gone tomorrow.What has settled peacefully on my soul is something soul stirring and deep. I know that the ultimate destination, the feeling and pleasure of arrival there, will surpass even how Joy can feel.
The Joyful Life Designer
Life Coach
Tiffany King
TheEmpoweringGift@gmail.com
1 Remarks by President Brigham Young, made in the Tabernacle, Great Salt Lake City, June 3, 1866.
2"Men Are, That They Might Have Joy" Elder Milton R. Hunter
Sunday, January 15, 2017
Living Like I was Dyin'... Let's talk Joy!
On October 25th 2016 I had a irregular finding on a Mammogram that prompted another diagnostic Mammogram and Ultra Sound. After those exams, an additional finding showed up. I was left with decisions to make. Should I biopsy, watch & wait, or have an MRI? After prayer and inspiration, and some amazing acts of God, I had the MRI. I was filled with so much emotion. I researched and considered decisions to make. I was overwhelmed with the possibility that I, like my sweet maternal, Aunt Becky, would be struck down by the dreaded Pink Disease. The monster that steals women from their children, their lives, their world.
I suddenly found myself having a birthday, cherishing my own life, cherishing my birthday instead of dreading it. I used to hate my my birthday as a child, because it wasn't always a priority to my parents as they struggled to survive. As I have gotten older it just represents that very fact, I am getting older...YUCK! Older people are not valued as they should be in our society, nobody wants to go there. But now in these circumstances, I found myself celebrating myself, loving my life.Then like every other year following my birthday, I was thrust into the Christmas Season, the season of Joy,thinking about the possibility that my whole world, was ready to turn upside down. How was I going to do this????? How?????
I was asked to give a lesson on Joy in a class at my church. As I studied the subject, and came to the realization that Joy is a gift from God. It is a decision to accept it. It is an amazing happiness, that has nothing, and I reiterate, it has absolutely nothing, to do with my circumstances. I was blown away by this. The blinders flew off and I was free from the trap of my own negative, foggy, view of the world. I had lived in a haze of grey colored glasses so long. If I possibly had a death sentence, I was not going to make an exit in despair. I made up my mind, that if these test came back with malignancy, even possibly a late stage missed occult cancer, I would be leaving this world in a blaze of light, a flare of bright Joy.This sounds like I am really jumping ahead, but that is what people with anxiety do. They worry about things that may never happen. I honestly admit, I don't come by joy easily. I have struggled a lot in life and being positive is not really my most attractive quality. Now how was I going to start practicing this new Joy thing without hypocrisy?
It started with a daily gratitude list. Then in prayer on my knees by my bedside, I would thank God every day for as many blessings I could think of. I spent more time doing what I should be doing. Spending time with family, getting my priorities in order, and thinking about what legacy I would want to leave. How very melancholic I may seem. Well, there is a reason for that. Watching a close family member wither away in front of me at a young age, from the same concern they were considering happening in me...that will do it to ya. Funny how medical tests can put a fire under you. I was studying stages of breast cancer, treatments, and statistics, intermingled with scriptures on Joy. What a paradoxical course of study? I then started doing lot's of service for others. It was the most simple way I found to feel Joy and to get out of my problems, no matter how scary, or big they looked. It worked beautifully. I was feeling Joy....I am not kidding. Listen! Do I have your attention yet? This is the part I tell you, that choosing Joy works. I started making plans, BIG PLANS! I was going to live my dreams. I wasn't giving up so easy. I started planning out how I would accomplish what I know God has told me to do. I am a light to the world, and no disease will snuff me out before I SHINE and inspire others. I have a mission.... a calling, I am here for a reason.
One night in the beginning of this transformation, I laid on my couch just chilling listen to music. Then this song came on, and my whole life got really clear, really fast.
Everything I did after that I realized I was living in the moment. Cherishing
time itself. It was amazing. I don't regret going through this trial because of
the amazing things it has taught me so far. Things are looking good, they are
looking so good. I know I will have to make some decisions when I talk to the
Doctor soon. I will have to make a plan to stay on top of the 5 mm lesion I
nick-named ("Trouble"). Come to think of it my dad’s brother, Uncle
Dan, had an adorable dog named Trouble, but he was real sweet. This experience
has made me proactive and an advocate for breast cancer awareness. But the best
thing that has happened from this, is I discovered how to have Joy, and how to
have it more abundantly....and I have to agree with Tim on this, someday I hope
you get the chance, to live like you were dyin'.
The Joyful Life Designer
Life Coach
Tiffany King
TheEmpoweringGift@gmail.com
He
said I was in my early 40's,
With a lot of life before me,
And a moment came that stopped me on a dime.
I spent most of the next days, lookin' at the x-rays,
Talkin' 'bout the options and talkin' 'bout sweet time.
Asked him when it would sank in, that this might really be the real end.
How's it hit ya, when you get that kind of news.
Man what ya do.
And he says,
[Chorus]
I went sky divin',
I went rocky mountain climbin',
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull name Fumanchu.
And I loved deeper,
And I spoke sweeter,
And I gave forgiveness I've been denying,
And he said someday I hope you get the chance,
To live like you were dyin'.
He said I was finally the husband,
That most the time I wasn't.
And I became a friend a friend would like to have.
And all the sudden goin' fishing,
Wasn't such an imposition.
And I went three times that year I lost my dad.
Well I finally read the good book,
And I took a good long hard look at what I'd do
If I could do it all again.
And then.
[Chorus]
Like tomorrow was a gift and you've got eternity
To think about what you do with it,
What could you do with it, what can
I do with with it, what would I do with it.
To live like you were dyin'.
To live like you were dyin'.
To live like you were dyin'.
To live like you were dyin'.
With a lot of life before me,
And a moment came that stopped me on a dime.
I spent most of the next days, lookin' at the x-rays,
Talkin' 'bout the options and talkin' 'bout sweet time.
Asked him when it would sank in, that this might really be the real end.
How's it hit ya, when you get that kind of news.
Man what ya do.
And he says,
[Chorus]
I went sky divin',
I went rocky mountain climbin',
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull name Fumanchu.
And I loved deeper,
And I spoke sweeter,
And I gave forgiveness I've been denying,
And he said someday I hope you get the chance,
To live like you were dyin'.
He said I was finally the husband,
That most the time I wasn't.
And I became a friend a friend would like to have.
And all the sudden goin' fishing,
Wasn't such an imposition.
And I went three times that year I lost my dad.
Well I finally read the good book,
And I took a good long hard look at what I'd do
If I could do it all again.
And then.
[Chorus]
Like tomorrow was a gift and you've got eternity
To think about what you do with it,
What could you do with it, what can
I do with with it, what would I do with it.
To live like you were dyin'.
To live like you were dyin'.
To live like you were dyin'.
To live like you were dyin'.
Sunday, January 8, 2017
To Miss Joy is to Miss All
Thomas Aquinas writes, joy is a response to having been “united” with what we love.This may seem oversimplified, and somewhat romantic, almost fantasy in the essence of it. It appears over exuberant in nature.... yet, it rings with truth. This past week as I have been studying the topic of joy, as it is my new years resolution to keep a blog on the subject. I already have learned so much about my potential to feel it. This is a study that must be experienced, and an action must be taken. This subject can not be acquired by merely reading about it. Joy in every sense of the word is a decision. So I decided to make that decision this past week. I decided to view my week through the eyes of gratitude whatever my week would bring.
Surprisingly, it was filled with joyful moments. Joy is a response to having been “united” with what we love is what I experienced this week. My daughter was visiting from another state for the holidays. I don't see her often and when I do it is an automatic joy response in my heart. So it was natural to start my joy journey in her presence. Her very essence brings great happiness to my existence.
I was grateful that it was 79 degrees instead of 15 degrees where my daughter is from. I chose to focus on the company of my daughter and my dear friend who joined us to visit. I chose to laugh at my silly self as I took selfies for this blog. My daughter helped by photographing me in all my awkward glory searching for joy in simple moments.Now pictures that once I would feel embarrassed of, made me laugh a hearty laugh. My perception of myself was so much lighter and not so critical anymore. Who knew joy could help self-esteem?
As I gazed out over the water I could taste joy in the salty horizon. It was so much easier than I thought it could be. You may question me "Well everything seems to be going well, of coarse you can choose to be happy. You are with your daughter, you are at the beach in winter, you have friends near by. You had a lovely holiday, you live in America, Mr.Trump will be President ;) (Hope that last one didn't sting some of you). You may question, what about those facing trials?"
I will share a few of my many trials just for perspectives sake. I just want to demonstrate how it can be done, this joy thing, in the midst of storms. I knew all while experiencing this joy at the beach, that I am scheduled for an MRI this coming week, for exploration of a suspicious finding, on my mammogram.( I hate my run on sentences and plan to remedy that as I keep blogging.). The irregular finding on the mammogram only becomes more alarming and frightful, as I experienced the loss of my my mothers sister, my dear Aunt Becky to breast cancer. I was the only one in the room with her as she drew her last breath. She left behind 4 children one whom was only 13 years old.
There is a story long echoing from another world in the past, that came to my mind. Remember the Master who exclaimed these fitting words to the faithful servant: “Enter into the joy of your Master!” (Matthew 25:22)? This is an example how joy is the reward for learning the lessons you came to earth to learn. This is to say, the reward for a life well lived. The most miraculous and suitable gift the Master can bestow is Joy in a world of sorrows.Joy is the elevation of how we see things, not as they may dimly or negatively appear, but with eyes that can see the light of the joy, that each life lesson brings. We are in earth school in a very literal sense. Joy is the end goal, paid for with a life's end game. Perspective is what I will be delving into as I dive into the subject of the empowering gift of joy in our lives. It is ones perspective that can be altered to welcome joy beyond our understanding and comprehension. One may find perspective is a challenging aspect of our personality that is most difficult to change. Ah, but alas, it can be done, it must be done, to lift the soul to the soaring heights of this supreme existence.
As I have earnestly set my soul on this goal over the past month, I have felt joy regenerate at an astonishing rate in my life, all while walking through the same life hassles and trials as before. I myself am amazed at the easiness of the way, and that the stubbornness of my past perspective. It was the very key I needed to enable the portals of joy to blossom open for me. The idea that how I perceive an outer event in my world, will determine the amount of joy I welcome, is almost magical to me. In reality is called a blessing. I can perceive a beautiful world when someone gives me a gift, I can question "Was it out of genuine concern and love?" or it can be perceived as a bribe or manipulation. The joy that gift will bring is up to me, and my own perception of it. Will I allow life experience to turn me cynical, depraved, and critical, crushing any hope of joy? Is that what I want to become? No! For the sake of heaven my soul rears up, with a resounding call "Give me Joy or give me nothing!".
I appreciated one philosophers description on the subject:
Fleshing out Joy
"The claim that it is possible to rejoice in the midst of suffering will surprise nobody. Some people rejoice while others suffer, even because they suffer, and some people suffer so that others can rejoice (J. S. Bach’s of Jesus’ passion: “Your bitter suffering brings thousands of joys”). Suffering and joy are here divided among different individuals. But can a person who suffers rejoice? Surprisingly, the answer is, yes: we can suffer and rejoice at the same time. Of course, we don’t rejoice because of suffering, either of our own suffering or somebody else’s; such joy would be either masochistic or mean. When we rejoice while suffering it is because of some good that is ours despite the suffering (for instance, God’s character, deeds, and the promise of redemption) or because of a good the suffering will produce (for instance, a child for a mother in childbirth). Put more abstractly, “joy despite” is possible on account of “joy because.” [1]
I concur that again our perception is what drives joy in or out of our life.The choice my friends is yours and your alone. May 2017 be a joyous reunion with joy itself, may we all be empowered with the ecstasy associated with living a life with one eye shut, allowing the floodgates of the heart fling wide open.To miss the joy is to miss all,” wrote Robert Louis Stevenson in his essay “The Lantern-Bearers” (1887).[2] No matter what we possess or experience and irrespective of how we act, if we miss joy we have missed all. On a side note, can you say a little prayer for me, my MRI is tomorrow.
The Joyful Life Designer
Life Coach
Tiffany King
TheEmpoweringGift@gmail.com
[1] Miroslav Volf
[2] Robert Louis Stevenson, “The Lantern-Bearers,” in The Lantern-Bearers and Other Essays, ed. Jeremy Traglown (New York: First Cooper Square Press, 1999), 234. In “On a Certain Blindness in Human Beings” (in On Some of Life’s Ideals [New York: Henry Holt and Co., 1912],16)
Sunday, January 1, 2017
Journey Into joy
You may wonder why I waited to start this journey on New Years day? Today is a day of new beginnings, a realization of things new, and the the awakening of the purpose, of opposition in all things. With new found Joy there is an awareness brought to life. We will discover there are some things without endings, and some states of being, that are almost ethereal. This new Joyful existence you can discover for yourself, settles on the soul softly, like the velvety wings of a butterfly, drifting from buds to petals. Some believe Joy is hard to come by. If you asked me what I thought about Joy throughout my personal life, I would have little to share on the subject. I believed superstitiously, that if I allowed myself to experience this heavenly state of being, something awful would follow to dismantle my whole world.
There is a name for this, it is an actual phobia." Aversion to happiness also called cherophobia or fear of happiness, is an attitude towards happiness in which individuals may deliberately avoid experiences that invoke positive emotions or happiness.
One of several reasons that aversion to happiness may develop is the belief that when one becomes happy, a negative event will soon occur that will taint their happiness, as if that individual is being punished for satisfaction. This belief is thought to be more prevalent in non-Western cultures. In Western cultures, such as American culture, "it is almost taken for granted that happiness is one of the most important values guiding people’s lives." Western cultures are more driven by an urge to maximize happiness and minimize sadness. Failing to appear happy is often a cause for concern. Its value is echoed through Western positive psychology and research on subjective well-being.
Cultural factors
There are four major reasons why happiness may be avoided by various people and cultures: "believing that being happy will provoke bad things to happen; that happiness will make you a worse person; that expressing happiness is bad for you and others; and that pursuing happiness is bad for you and others". For example, "some people—in Western and Eastern cultures—are wary of happiness because they believe that bad things, such as unhappiness, suffering, and death, tend to happen to happy people."These findings "call into question the notion that happiness is the ultimate goal, a belief echoed in any number of articles and self-help publications about whether certain choices are likely to make you happy". Also, "in cultures that believe worldly happiness to be associated with sin, shallowness, and moral decline will actually feel less satisfied when their lives are (by other standards) going well", so measures of personal happiness cannot simply be considered a yardstick for satisfaction with one's life, and attitudes such as aversion to happiness have important implications for measuring happiness across cultures and ranking nations on happiness scores."
So we see that in order to even start a journey into Joy we must first be willing, even if as an experiment, to let go of our old ideas. To release the "why's" that say we shouldn't experience this state of bliss. The truth is, it is a natural disposition to be in. We have become accustomed to being negative, seeing the cup half empty, and believing we are not worthy of such feelings and existing. This blog will be going into depth about the subject. You are invited to journey with me through this year as I discover how I personally can over come the worst phobia I can imagine... the fear of being Happy. This is it...This is the first day into my Journey into Joy! I hope you will find in this work, some Joyous resurrection in your own life. Happy New Year!
The Joyful Life Designer
Life Coach
Tiffany King
TheEmpoweringGift@gmail.com
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