Living Like I was Dyin'... Let's talk Joy!

     Hi there Friends! How is the Joy thing going for ya? Just like I promised last week I am going to share how my Joy Journey began. It was a very recent experience that prompted this amazing metamorphosis for me. Many of you have followed me through my experience on social media. I 'm good at sharing  like that. I refuse, as a social creature, to go through life, without interaction with my world around me.

     On October 25th 2016 I had a irregular finding on a Mammogram that prompted another diagnostic Mammogram and Ultra Sound. After those exams, an additional finding showed up. I was left with decisions to make. Should I biopsy, watch & wait, or have an MRI? After prayer and inspiration, and some amazing acts of God, I had the MRI. I was filled with so much emotion. I researched and considered decisions to make. I was overwhelmed with the possibility that I, like my sweet maternal, Aunt Becky, would be struck down by the dreaded Pink Disease. The monster that steals women from their children, their lives, their world.

At this point I have not yet discussed the results with my Doctor. I did pick the report up and it appears from my weak interpretation, there is one 5 mm lesion of concern that demonstrates some vascular activity. It needs to be watched.The report  suggested to follow up with my Doctor and have another MRI in 6 months.I may not be out of the woods yet, but I am feeling positive vibes,and keeping a joyful attitude.I am filling in this background story, so you will understand how the Joy journey began.

      I suddenly found myself having a birthday, cherishing my own life, cherishing my birthday instead of dreading it. I used to hate my my birthday as a child, because it wasn't always a priority to my parents as they struggled to survive. As I have gotten older it just represents that very fact, I am getting older...YUCK! Older people are not valued as they should be in our society, nobody wants to go there. But now in these circumstances, I found myself celebrating myself, loving my life.Then like every other year following my birthday, I was thrust into the Christmas Season, the season of Joy,thinking about the possibility that my whole world, was ready to turn upside down. How was I going to do this????? How?????

     I was asked to give a lesson on Joy in a class at my church. As I studied the subject, and came to the realization that Joy is a gift from God.  It is a decision to accept it. It is an amazing happiness, that has nothing, and I reiterate, it has absolutely nothing, to do with my circumstances. I was blown away by this. The blinders flew off and I was free from the trap of my own negative, foggy, view of the world. I had lived in a haze of grey colored glasses so long. If I possibly had a death sentence, I was not going to make an exit in despair. I made up my mind, that if these test came back with malignancy, even possibly a late stage missed occult cancer, I would be leaving this world in a blaze of light, a flare of bright Joy.This sounds like I am really jumping ahead, but that is what people with anxiety do. They worry about things that may never happen. I honestly admit, I don't come by joy easily. I have struggled a lot in life and being positive is not really my most attractive quality. Now how was I going to start practicing this new Joy thing without hypocrisy?

     
 It started with a daily gratitude list. Then in prayer on my knees by my bedside, I would thank God every day for as many blessings I could think of. I spent more time doing what I should be doing. Spending time with family, getting my priorities in order, and thinking about what legacy I would want to leave. How very melancholic I may seem. Well, there is a reason for that. Watching a close family member wither away in front of me at a young age, from the same concern they were considering happening in me...that will do it to ya. Funny how medical tests can put a fire under you. I was studying stages of breast cancer, treatments, and statistics, intermingled with scriptures on Joy. What a paradoxical course of study? I then started doing lot's of service for others. It was the most simple way I found to feel Joy and to get out of my problems, no matter how scary, or big they looked. It worked beautifully. I was feeling Joy....I am not kidding. Listen! Do I have your attention yet? This is the part I tell you, that choosing Joy works. I started making plans, BIG PLANS! I was going to live my dreams. I wasn't giving up so easy. I started planning out how I would accomplish what I know God has told me to do. I am a light to the world, and no disease will snuff me out before I SHINE and inspire others. I have a mission.... a calling, I am here for a reason.

      One night in the beginning of this transformation, I laid on my couch just chilling listen to music. Then this song came on, and my whole life got really clear, really fast.              
  

Live Like You were Dyin'

  

    Everything I did after that I realized I was living in the moment. Cherishing time itself. It was amazing. I don't regret going through this trial because of the amazing things it has taught me so far. Things are looking good, they are looking so good. I know I will have to make some decisions when I talk to the Doctor soon. I will have to make a plan to stay on top of the 5 mm lesion I nick-named ("Trouble"). Come to think of it my dad’s brother, Uncle Dan, had an adorable dog named Trouble, but he was real sweet. This experience has made me proactive and an advocate for breast cancer awareness. But the best thing that has happened from this, is I discovered how to have Joy, and how to have it more abundantly....and I have to agree with Tim on this, someday I hope you get the chance, to live like you were dyin'.

    The Joyful Life Designer

          Life Coach 

               Tiffany King 

                                                           TheEmpoweringGift@gmail.com  

       

Tim McGraw: Living Like I was Dyin'

He said I was in my early 40's,
With a lot of life before me,
And a moment came that stopped me on a dime.
I spent most of the next days, lookin' at the x-rays,
Talkin' 'bout the options and talkin' 'bout sweet time.
Asked him when it would sank in, that this might really be the real end.
How's it hit ya, when you get that kind of news.
Man what ya do.
And he says,
[Chorus]
I went sky divin',
I went rocky mountain climbin',
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull name Fumanchu.
And I loved deeper,
And I spoke sweeter,
And I gave forgiveness I've been denying,
And he said someday I hope you get the chance,
To live like you were dyin'.
He said I was finally the husband,
That most the time I wasn't.
And I became a friend a friend would like to have.
And all the sudden goin' fishing,
Wasn't such an imposition.
And I went three times that year I lost my dad.
Well I finally read the good book,
And I took a good long hard look at what I'd do
If I could do it all again.
And then.
[Chorus]
Like tomorrow was a gift and you've got eternity
To think about what you do with it,
What could you do with it, what can
I do with with it, what would I do with it.

To live like you were dyin'.
To live like you were dyin'.
To live like you were dyin'.
To live like you were dyin'.

To Miss Joy is to Miss All

  Thomas Aquinas writes, joy is a response to having been “united” with what we love.This may seem oversimplified, and somewhat romantic, almost fantasy in the essence of it. It appears over exuberant in nature.... yet, it rings with truth. This past week as I have been studying the topic of  joy, as it is my new years resolution to keep a blog on the subject. I already have learned so much about my potential to feel it. This is a study that must be experienced, and an action must be taken. This subject can not be acquired by merely reading about it. Joy in every sense of the word is a decision. So I decided to make that decision this past week. I decided to view my week through the eyes of gratitude whatever my week would bring.

     Surprisingly, it was filled with joyful moments. Joy is a response to having been “united” with what we love is what I experienced this week. My daughter was visiting from another state for the holidays. I don't see her often and when I do it is an automatic joy response in my heart. So it was natural to start my joy journey in her presence. Her very essence brings great happiness to my existence.

 I was grateful that it was 79 degrees instead of 15 degrees where my daughter is from. I chose to focus on the company of my daughter and my dear friend who joined us to visit. I chose to laugh at my silly self as I took selfies for this blog. My daughter helped by photographing me in all my awkward glory searching for joy in simple moments.Now pictures that once I would feel embarrassed of, made me laugh a hearty laugh. My perception of myself was so much lighter and not so critical anymore. Who knew joy could help self-esteem?

 Click here to see Joy in action

We decided to go to the beach. It could have been perceived as dreary, as it was windy, and the water all mucky from a recent storm. I could have seen the the glass half empty and complained of the experience. Instead I chose to see the joy in it.

     As I gazed out over the water I could taste joy in the salty horizon. It was so much easier than I thought it could be. You may question me "Well everything seems to be going well, of coarse you can choose to be happy. You are with your daughter, you are at the beach in winter, you have friends near by. You had a lovely holiday, you live in America, Mr.Trump will be President ;) (Hope that last one didn't sting some of you).  You may question, what about those facing trials?"

      I will share a few of my many trials just for perspectives sake. I just want to demonstrate how it can be done, this joy thing, in the midst of storms. I knew all while experiencing this joy at the beach, that I am scheduled for an MRI this coming week, for exploration of a suspicious finding, on my mammogram.( I hate my run on sentences and plan to remedy that as I keep blogging.). The irregular finding on the mammogram only becomes more alarming and frightful, as I experienced the loss of my my mothers sister, my dear Aunt Becky to breast cancer. I was the only one in the room with her as she drew her last breath. She left behind 4 children one whom was only 13 years old.

     I was the one who sitting on the edge of her sick bed, that she admonished to be pro-active if anything suspicious came up in my future. She told me they missed her cancer early on. Statistics are on my side, but I have a high risk profile. It puts a little fright in me. This was only compounded by some financial challenges, my husbands chronic health issues, a neck injury that has changed how I live my life, the death of my father and mother-in-law, and some personal family problems that are heart wrenching, that have been ongoing. I promise I am not whining, I only share so that the reality of dancing in the rain is more relevant in my writing.

     There is a story long echoing from another world in the past, that came to my mind. Remember the  Master who exclaimed these fitting words to the faithful servant: “Enter into the joy of your Master!” (Matthew 25:22)? This is an example how joy is the reward for learning the lessons you came to earth to learn. This is to say, the reward for a life well lived. The most miraculous and suitable gift the Master can bestow is Joy in a world of sorrows.Joy is the elevation of how we see things, not as they may dimly or negatively appear, but with eyes that can see the light of the joy, that each life lesson brings. We are in earth school in a very literal sense. Joy  is the end goal, paid for with a life's end game. Perspective is what I will be delving into as I dive into the subject of the empowering gift of joy in our lives. It is ones perspective that can be altered to welcome joy beyond our understanding and comprehension. One may find perspective is a challenging aspect of our personality that is most difficult to change. Ah, but alas, it can be done, it must be done, to lift the soul to the soaring heights of this supreme existence.

     As I have earnestly set my soul on this goal over the past month, I have felt joy regenerate at an astonishing rate in my life, all while walking through the same life hassles and trials as before. I myself am amazed at the easiness of the way, and that the stubbornness of my past perspective. It was the very key I needed to enable the portals of joy to blossom open for me. The idea that how I perceive an outer event in my world, will determine the amount of joy I welcome, is almost magical to me. In reality is called a blessing. I can perceive a beautiful world when someone gives me a gift, I can question "Was it out of genuine concern and love?" or it can be perceived as a bribe or manipulation. The joy that gift will bring is up to me, and my own perception of it. Will I allow life experience to turn me cynical, depraved, and critical, crushing any hope of  joy? Is that what I want to become? No! For the sake of  heaven my soul rears up, with a resounding call "Give me Joy or give me nothing!".

      I am finally finding my voice on the subject as I fumble through it. I experience this new way of walking through my inner and outer worlds. There is a story behind this journey for me. I will be sharing it in my next post. It may be helpful dear reader, to know the beginnings of my journey into joy, that may better translate  the "why?" for this topic. I find myself evolving and changing as I write. I will grow into the proper voice or style for writing on this topic, so bare with me as I experiment with how to express myself, in a way I can truly be understood. I like the quote "I can explain it to you, but I can not understand it for you. That will be the journey you choose to  take that each man and woman must alone embark on. I know this first attempt is rough, almost a draft of my thoughts. It will all come together soon.It will all start to flow.I can share my journey as a light of hope, a spark of inspiration if I succeed in obtaining that which I have set out for.

    I appreciated one philosophers description on the subject:

      Fleshing out Joy
"The claim that it is possible to rejoice in the midst of suffering will surprise nobody. Some people rejoice while others suffer, even because they suffer, and some people suffer so that others can rejoice (J. S. Bach’s of Jesus’ passion: “Your bitter suffering brings thousands of joys”). Suffering and joy are here divided among different individuals. But can a person who suffers rejoice? Surprisingly, the answer is, yes: we can suffer and rejoice at the same time. Of course, we don’t rejoice because of suffering, either of our own suffering or somebody else’s; such joy would be either masochistic or mean. When we rejoice while suffering it is because of some good that is ours despite the suffering (for instance, God’s character, deeds, and the promise of redemption) or because of a good the suffering will produce (for instance, a child for a mother in childbirth). Put more abstractly, “joy despite” is possible on account of “joy because.” [1]

    I concur that again our perception is what drives joy in or out of our life.The choice my friends is yours and your alone. May 2017 be a joyous reunion with joy itself, may we all be empowered with the ecstasy associated with living a life with one eye shut, allowing the floodgates of the heart fling wide open.To miss the joy is to miss all,” wrote Robert Louis Stevenson in his essay “The Lantern-Bearers” (1887).[2] No matter what we possess or experience and irrespective of how we act, if we miss joy we have missed all.  On a side note, can you say a little prayer for me, my MRI is tomorrow.

                                                       

       
 The Joyful Life Designer

      Life Coach 

          Tiffany King 

               TheEmpoweringGift@gmail.com  

[1] Miroslav Volf

[2] Robert Louis Stevenson, “The Lantern-Bearers,” in The Lantern-Bearers and Other Essays, ed. Jeremy Traglown (New York: First Cooper Square Press, 1999), 234. In “On a Certain Blindness in Human Beings” (in On Some of Life’s Ideals [New York: Henry Holt and Co., 1912],16)

Journey Into joy

     Hi Friend! I am so thrilled, for you have found this blog. I know some of the promises you will receive here will seem profound, amazing, and maybe unrealistic, never the less...I promise they are real. If you choose to take a journey with me, through the posts and pages of this blog, you will find that you will be inspired to live on a new elevated level.One of peace, security, happiness and yes Joy! This is a journey into Joy.

     You may wonder why I waited to start this journey on New Years day? Today is a day of new beginnings, a realization of things new, and the the awakening of the purpose, of opposition in all things. With new found Joy there is an awareness brought to life. We will discover there are some things without endings, and some states of being, that are almost ethereal. This new Joyful existence you can discover for yourself, settles on the soul softly, like the velvety wings of a butterfly, drifting from buds to petals. Some believe Joy is hard to come by. If you asked me what I thought about Joy throughout my personal life, I would have little to share on the subject. I believed superstitiously, that if I allowed myself to experience this heavenly state of being, something awful would follow to dismantle my whole world.

     There is a name for this, it is an actual phobia." Aversion to happiness also called cherophobia  or fear of happiness, is an attitude towards happiness in which individuals may deliberately avoid experiences that invoke positive emotions or happiness.
One of several reasons that aversion to happiness may develop is the belief that when one becomes happy, a negative event will soon occur that will taint their happiness, as if that individual is being punished for satisfaction. This belief is thought to be more prevalent in non-Western cultures. In Western cultures, such as American culture, "it is almost taken for granted that happiness is one of the most important values guiding people’s lives." Western cultures are more driven by an urge to maximize happiness and minimize sadness. Failing to appear happy is often a cause for concern. Its value is echoed through Western positive psychology and research on subjective well-being.

Cultural factors

There are four major reasons why happiness may be avoided by various people and cultures: "believing that being happy will provoke bad things to happen; that happiness will make you a worse person; that expressing happiness is bad for you and others; and that pursuing happiness is bad for you and others". For example, "some people—in Western and Eastern cultures—are wary of happiness because they believe that bad things, such as unhappiness, suffering, and death, tend to happen to happy people."
These findings "call into question the notion that happiness is the ultimate goal, a belief echoed in any number of articles and self-help publications about whether certain choices are likely to make you happy". Also, "in cultures that believe worldly happiness to be associated with sin, shallowness, and moral decline will actually feel less satisfied when their lives are (by other standards) going well", so measures of personal happiness cannot simply be considered a yardstick for satisfaction with one's life, and attitudes such as aversion to happiness have important implications for measuring happiness across cultures and ranking nations on happiness scores."

    So we see that in order to even start a journey into Joy we must first be willing, even if as an experiment, to let go of our old ideas. To release the "why's" that say we shouldn't experience this state of bliss. The truth is, it is a natural disposition to be in. We have become accustomed to being negative, seeing the cup half empty, and believing we are not worthy of such feelings and existing. This blog will be going into depth about the subject. You are invited to journey with me through this year as I discover how I personally can over come the worst phobia I can imagine... the fear of being Happy. This is it...This is the first day into my Journey into Joy! I hope you will find in this work, some Joyous resurrection in your own life. Happy New Year!

                        
 The Joyful Life Designer
 Life Coach 
Tiffany King 
               TheEmpoweringGift@gmail.com