On October 25th 2016 I had a irregular finding on a Mammogram that prompted another diagnostic Mammogram and Ultra Sound. After those exams, an additional finding showed up. I was left with decisions to make. Should I biopsy, watch & wait, or have an MRI? After prayer and inspiration, and some amazing acts of God, I had the MRI. I was filled with so much emotion. I researched and considered decisions to make. I was overwhelmed with the possibility that I, like my sweet maternal, Aunt Becky, would be struck down by the dreaded Pink Disease. The monster that steals women from their children, their lives, their world.
I suddenly found myself having a birthday, cherishing my own life, cherishing my birthday instead of dreading it. I used to hate my my birthday as a child, because it wasn't always a priority to my parents as they struggled to survive. As I have gotten older it just represents that very fact, I am getting older...YUCK! Older people are not valued as they should be in our society, nobody wants to go there. But now in these circumstances, I found myself celebrating myself, loving my life.Then like every other year following my birthday, I was thrust into the Christmas Season, the season of Joy,thinking about the possibility that my whole world, was ready to turn upside down. How was I going to do this????? How?????
I was asked to give a lesson on Joy in a class at my church. As I studied the subject, and came to the realization that Joy is a gift from God. It is a decision to accept it. It is an amazing happiness, that has nothing, and I reiterate, it has absolutely nothing, to do with my circumstances. I was blown away by this. The blinders flew off and I was free from the trap of my own negative, foggy, view of the world. I had lived in a haze of grey colored glasses so long. If I possibly had a death sentence, I was not going to make an exit in despair. I made up my mind, that if these test came back with malignancy, even possibly a late stage missed occult cancer, I would be leaving this world in a blaze of light, a flare of bright Joy.This sounds like I am really jumping ahead, but that is what people with anxiety do. They worry about things that may never happen. I honestly admit, I don't come by joy easily. I have struggled a lot in life and being positive is not really my most attractive quality. Now how was I going to start practicing this new Joy thing without hypocrisy?
It started with a daily gratitude list. Then in prayer on my knees by my bedside, I would thank God every day for as many blessings I could think of. I spent more time doing what I should be doing. Spending time with family, getting my priorities in order, and thinking about what legacy I would want to leave. How very melancholic I may seem. Well, there is a reason for that. Watching a close family member wither away in front of me at a young age, from the same concern they were considering happening in me...that will do it to ya. Funny how medical tests can put a fire under you. I was studying stages of breast cancer, treatments, and statistics, intermingled with scriptures on Joy. What a paradoxical course of study? I then started doing lot's of service for others. It was the most simple way I found to feel Joy and to get out of my problems, no matter how scary, or big they looked. It worked beautifully. I was feeling Joy....I am not kidding. Listen! Do I have your attention yet? This is the part I tell you, that choosing Joy works. I started making plans, BIG PLANS! I was going to live my dreams. I wasn't giving up so easy. I started planning out how I would accomplish what I know God has told me to do. I am a light to the world, and no disease will snuff me out before I SHINE and inspire others. I have a mission.... a calling, I am here for a reason.
One night in the beginning of this transformation, I laid on my couch just chilling listen to music. Then this song came on, and my whole life got really clear, really fast.
Everything I did after that I realized I was living in the moment. Cherishing
time itself. It was amazing. I don't regret going through this trial because of
the amazing things it has taught me so far. Things are looking good, they are
looking so good. I know I will have to make some decisions when I talk to the
Doctor soon. I will have to make a plan to stay on top of the 5 mm lesion I
nick-named ("Trouble"). Come to think of it my dad’s brother, Uncle
Dan, had an adorable dog named Trouble, but he was real sweet. This experience
has made me proactive and an advocate for breast cancer awareness. But the best
thing that has happened from this, is I discovered how to have Joy, and how to
have it more abundantly....and I have to agree with Tim on this, someday I hope
you get the chance, to live like you were dyin'.
The Joyful Life Designer
Life Coach
Tiffany King
TheEmpoweringGift@gmail.com
He
said I was in my early 40's,
With a lot of life before me,
And a moment came that stopped me on a dime.
I spent most of the next days, lookin' at the x-rays,
Talkin' 'bout the options and talkin' 'bout sweet time.
Asked him when it would sank in, that this might really be the real end.
How's it hit ya, when you get that kind of news.
Man what ya do.
And he says,
[Chorus]
I went sky divin',
I went rocky mountain climbin',
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull name Fumanchu.
And I loved deeper,
And I spoke sweeter,
And I gave forgiveness I've been denying,
And he said someday I hope you get the chance,
To live like you were dyin'.
He said I was finally the husband,
That most the time I wasn't.
And I became a friend a friend would like to have.
And all the sudden goin' fishing,
Wasn't such an imposition.
And I went three times that year I lost my dad.
Well I finally read the good book,
And I took a good long hard look at what I'd do
If I could do it all again.
And then.
[Chorus]
Like tomorrow was a gift and you've got eternity
To think about what you do with it,
What could you do with it, what can
I do with with it, what would I do with it.
To live like you were dyin'.
To live like you were dyin'.
To live like you were dyin'.
To live like you were dyin'.
With a lot of life before me,
And a moment came that stopped me on a dime.
I spent most of the next days, lookin' at the x-rays,
Talkin' 'bout the options and talkin' 'bout sweet time.
Asked him when it would sank in, that this might really be the real end.
How's it hit ya, when you get that kind of news.
Man what ya do.
And he says,
[Chorus]
I went sky divin',
I went rocky mountain climbin',
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull name Fumanchu.
And I loved deeper,
And I spoke sweeter,
And I gave forgiveness I've been denying,
And he said someday I hope you get the chance,
To live like you were dyin'.
He said I was finally the husband,
That most the time I wasn't.
And I became a friend a friend would like to have.
And all the sudden goin' fishing,
Wasn't such an imposition.
And I went three times that year I lost my dad.
Well I finally read the good book,
And I took a good long hard look at what I'd do
If I could do it all again.
And then.
[Chorus]
Like tomorrow was a gift and you've got eternity
To think about what you do with it,
What could you do with it, what can
I do with with it, what would I do with it.
To live like you were dyin'.
To live like you were dyin'.
To live like you were dyin'.
To live like you were dyin'.
